Challenge Fic
by CheesyGoom
Summary: As the title states, it's a challenge fic. HPSS. R&R peoples!


**A/N – I'm doing a random challenge fic for Invaderk. It'll be random, and probably crappy, and, well… that's all I got. Please, please, _PLEASE_ review!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

** x - Means I've done it!**

_Challenge Fic_

It must include:

x Okichikipokido, which means "I love you"... yes, my friend made it up.

x A Harry/Snape relationship

x Febreeze

x A racecar

x A Ferret

x A mysterious letter

x someone yelling, "I hate hippos!"

It was a wondrous day. The kind of day the Boy-Who-Lived, or Harry Potter, loved. On a day like this, he would spend his time in the dungeons, completely ignoring the happy laughs of students, or the frolicking animals that randomly appeared from the Forbidden Forest. No, on a day like this, Harry Potter could be found in the Potion's Master's office, doing God knows what…

You see, it had all started at the beginning of Harry's sixth year. He had been trying to get over Sirius, so he had gotten down with his studies. He had pretty much become a male version of Hermione. Whilst doing his studies one night, he discovered that he was… GAY! Dun dun dunnnnnnnn!

Anywho, we'll go to the present, now.

Harry Potter sat in the Potion's Master's room, looking pretty, as always. Since the incident at the end of Harry's fifth year, Harry had let his hair grow long enough to tie back. And boy how it was tied back. It was so tied back, that if he tied it back anymore, his head would explode.

…yeah…

Anywho…

At the beginning of Harry's sixth year, he had started to notice how attractive Professor Severus Snape was. I mean, who _wouldn't_ think that man was attractive? He had the whole… greasy… look about him. BUT, Harry hadn't actually made a move until the END of his sixth year. And now, it was halfway through his seventh year, and he and Severus (yes, they were on a first name basis, now), had been together happily for… well, half the year. You see, the whole 'Snape hating Harry' thing was just a cover up, because Severus wasn't sure if Harry felt the same way about him.

**XxXxX**

Harry looked around the room prettily. His gaze landed on Severus' desk, where a note written on perfumed pink paper was lying, just _asking _to be read. And Harry, being the nosy little shit he is, couldn't help but pick it up, and read it.

_Dear Severus, _

_The time is drawing near. You must prepare yourself for the upcoming event. Don't wear your good robes, I don't want them getting dirty. And it's your turn to wash the underwear this week. Please don't forget this. _

_Sincerely_

_You-Know-Who_

Harry frowned. No, he didn't know who. But he was going to find out. The sound of a door opening brought Harry back to Earth. Where had he been, you ask? Well, on Mars, of course!

"Ugh, sorry about that, Harry baby! The stupid first years were being dickheads, so I had to keep them back", came the voice of Severus, Harry's one, true love. "Please promise me you will _never_ ask to have children."

"Uh-huh. Severus, we need to talk", Harry said.

Uh-oh, spaghettio… Severus detected a note of seriousness in Harry's voice, so he sat down immediately, looking at Harry expectantly. "What is it, darling?"

Harry waved the letter around. "What is this? The 'upcoming event'? _What_ is drawing near? What have you been hiding from me, Severus Snape?"

Severus flinched. Harry had used his full name. Uh-oh, spaghettio…

"Harry, sweetie", Severus started nervously, "That… that's nothing… it's just a note. You know. I get those, sometimes. Harry, Okichikipokido."

Harry sighed. "Okichikipokido, too…"

Who was _he_ to argue with the logics of a made up language?

Severus gave a grin, and pulled Harry into his arms, kissing him passionately. And since this is a family story, I will censor out any steamy sex scenes. Sorry.

**STEAMY SEX SCENES HAVE BEEN CENSORED FOR YOUR SAFETY**

**XxXxX**

After a long night of censored steamy sex scenes, Harry and Severus had fallen asleep in each others arms. Aww…

BUT, all this was behind them now, and it was time for breakfast! The most important meal of the day, served up Gary's way… (**A/N – Sorry, I was watching Spongebob Squarepants…**)

Severus had to take his seat at the teacher's table, and Harry took his usual seat between Ron and Hermione. This was to keep the two from snogging the living daylights out of everyone. Harry started up a conversation with his two best friends. The conversation involved hippo's, and how they were just misunderstood, and drowned their feelings in food, which was why they were fat. The conversation went on for a while, and it was cut short by someone. Nobody knows who. But this 'someone' (Harry suspected it was Draco. After all, Draco _was_ afraid of llama's…) decided to add his/her two cents worth into the conversation by shouting,

"I HATE HIPPO'S!"

**XxXxX**

"Now class, add the toad's legs to the-" Severus stopped his sentence when Harry entered the room, holding a can of Febreeze.

"…Harry… what are you doing?" Severus asked curiously. Harry glared at him.

"I have asked you time and time again to clean this classroom, but you still don't! You have to teach a _class_ in here, Severus! I somehow doubt the poor first years enjoy being in a class full of smell!" Harry said. And with that, he went around the classroom, spraying the Febreeze all around the room, even going as far as to spray the students.

**XxXxX**

"You're a slimy little ferret, Malfoy!" Harry shouted a few hours later.

"And you're a filthy attention seeking fairy!" Malfoy shouted back. Hermione and Ron gasped.

"Oh no he di-n't!" Hermione said.

"He did _not_ just go there!" Ron added.

"Don't. Ever. Bring. My. Sexuality. Into. A. Conversation. AGAIN!" Harry shouted, and with a wave of his wand, Malfoy disappeared. And was replaced with a ferret. That twitched. Oh how it twitched.

"Harry James Potter!"

Harry flinched. Severus used his full name! NOOOOO!

"What on _Earth_ is going on here? Why is there a ferret there? Harry… is that… is that _Draco_!" Severus asked.

"…he called me a fairy…" Harry said.

"…you _are_ a fairy."

"I DON'T CARE! He is, too."

"Harry, you're getting emotional. Have you had your juice yet?"

"The straw wouldn't go in…"

"Harry, let's go home."

And so, Severus and Harry, the happy couple, climbed into the red and green racecar they had invested in, and drove off into the sunset.

**A/N – Be honest. It was crap, wasn't it? It was? Yeah, thought so. R&R, please! Thanks dudes. Any questions, don't hesitate to ask! I won't bite! Hard… **


End file.
